Mrs. Claus (2018)

Delta Sigma Sigma really knows how to paint the town red during the holiday season!  It helps that they have the help of a murdering psycho prowling around, but who knew – in a holiday that depends on good old fashion cheer (and jeer?) to soldier on – that this crazy bitch would be so integral in creating an environment that feels so ho, ho, horrible? 

Mrs. Claus is the shit.  Seriously.  This movie, originally appearing under the name of Stirring, is ruthless AND festive.  Its kills are so brutal and unexpected that you might find yourself shaking like a bowl full of jelly. 

It’s beginning to look a lot like a bloody mess everywhere you go!  Wait.  That isn’t how the song goes?  Well, shit.  Guess I do prefer my Christmas movies with a bit more blood and guts in them.  Deck the halls with parts of Charlie!  Fa la la la la la la la la la.  Wrong again. Damn.

"Its kills are so brutal and unexpected that you might find yourself shaking like a bowl full of jelly."


It’s Christmas, you say.  Not Halloween, creep.  I know.  I know.  But when the kills are this gnarly and as fresh as those in writer/director Troy Escamilla (Party Night) graphic Mrs. Claus, well, you know I just HAVE TO be down with the sickness being spread about here.

And sick is EXACTLY what Mrs. Claus, featuring AWESOME and EXTENDED performances from B-movie alums Helene Udy (The Dead ZoneMy Bloody Valentine) and Brinke Stevens (The Slumber Party Massacre), will make you feel this yuletide season all over.  These aren't mere cameos, folks.  Someone knows exactly what horror buffs want to see in a Slasher.

Take a handful of Black Christmas and sprinkle more than a little of Silent Night, Deadly Night into the bowl and then stir it all up with an off-the-hook prologue, in which a new pledge loses her shit over some pretty awful treatment and rams a masturbatory cucumber down the throat of the student responsible for the bullying, and you will get the wonderfully sick aroma that is the fully baked Mrs. Claus

And one piece isn't going to be enough of this treat.  You might as well stick the entire thing in the stocking. {googleads}

Fast forward 10 years from the cold night the tormented new pledge took her own life and we settle into the movie as Amber (Kaylee Williams), the poor girl’s younger sister, enters into the same house on the same campus, taking her sister's place.  The campus is already buzzing with excitement.  What is going to happen?  She wants to honor her sister’s memory.  Don’t worry, babe, those around you aren’t ever going to let you forget it.  Her sister is now an urban legend and, thanks to all the memories still haunting the town, her presence is only going to incite violence.

Because just outside the house, there is a killer, dressed as an old woman in Santa-like garb, offing various members of the sorority.  She sends them twisted Christmas puns and then hacks them up with whatever Christmas ornament happens to be within reach. Her methods are gut-ripping and desperate; this much anger is bound to get crazy.  It is also making a quick route to Amber . . . for REVENGE. Mrs. Claus (2018)

And, trust me, this masked woman responsible for all the terror is beyond ruthless.  Decorations become weapons in her ancient hands and, as a result of her swift attacks, the blood from freshly opened skin and veins flows freely.  Candy canes are rammed down throats and necks are slit.  Look away if you must.  Because Mrs. Claus has to be one the best blood gurgling practical effects-laden horror movies of the year.  Sure, it is low budget but, damn, if it doesn’t score MAJOR points with its use of palpable gore.  There’s no CGI present in these gnarly effects and, for a Gorehound like myself, that fact is truly appreciated. 

Is this horror movie deep and moving?  Hell, no.  It is entertaining, though, and if you like slashers as much as I do (and spent your early years WOKE to the operatic vibes of Don't Go In the Woods . . . Alone!  and Halloween), then a movie as automatically cult-approved as Mrs. Claus will probably be the best thing you will unwrap this Christmas. 

Ho! Ho! Ho!  Mrs. Claus is released courtesy of Wild Eye Releasing and is now available on streaming platforms everywhere.

4 stars

 

Mrs. Claus (2018)

MPAA Rating: R.
Runtime:
86 mins
Director
: Troy Escamilla
Writer:
Troy Escamilla
Cast:
Helene Udy, Brinke Stevens, Kaylee Williams
Genre
: Horror
Tagline: You won't be going home for Christmas!

Memorable Movie Quote: "Why did you give me a Happy Holidays card? You're not one of those people who are offended by Christmas are you?"
Distributor:
Wild Eye Releasing
Official Site:
Release Date:
November 13, 2018
DVD/Blu-ray Release Date:
November 13, 2018
Synopsis: A group of college students attending a Christmas party at a sorority house that has a sinister past are stalked by a bloodthirsty killer disguised as Mrs. Claus.

 

Mrs. Claus (2018)

Blu-ray

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Mrs. Claus (2018)