There are bad camping trips, and then there's the kind that makes you reconsider the entire fucking concept of the outdoors.
Maclain Nelson's Don't Move takes a church retreat, drops it into the Ozark wilderness, and introduces a prehistoric eight-legged bastard with an appetite for human flesh and absolutely no respect for organized religion. Based on the novel by James "Murr" Murray and Darren Wearmouth, this creature feature comes crawling out of the woods with a wonderfully nasty premise: a monstrous arachnid hunts by vibration, meaning every movement could turn you into dinner. Running is generally a solid survival strategy, but here it's practically an invitation to the buffet.
Lyndsy Fonseca's Megan becomes the reluctant center of the nightmare, attempting to hold together a group whose faith isn't doing much to improve their circumstances. Russell "Russ" Vitale's Ricky provides the obligatory troublemaker, attracting suspicion because apparently being an asshole makes you responsible for a prehistoric spider. The ensemble, including Hunter King, Joseph Lee Anderson, Tom Cavanagh, and Rob Riggle, supplies the expected collection of potential victims, although the human drama isn't nearly as interesting as the monster waiting to devour them. There's some welcome dark humor scattered throughout, but the familiar character dynamics and predictable survival-horror machinery occasionally make the whole affair feel like something we've wandered through a dozen times before.
Still, there's something wonderfully disreputable about a movie willing to unleash an enormous spider on a bunch of people who made the catastrophically stupid decision to wander off the trail. Spiders are already nature's way of reminding humanity that evolution occasionally gets drunk and starts designing monsters. Make one prehistoric, give it a forest-sized network of webs, and let it track victims through vibrations, and you've got a perfectly respectable excuse for some old-fashioned monster-movie mayhem. Unfortunately, Don't Move doesn't always capitalize on the delicious cruelty of its own concept. The tension should be nearly unbearable when standing perfectly still becomes the only defense, but the familiar rhythms of the genre sometimes undermine the suspense.
Nevertheless, Don't Move understands the basic appeal of backwoods horror, even if it doesn't quite distinguish itself from the crowded collection of creature features already lurking in the cinematic underbrush. Not every horror movie needs to be an elaborate metaphor for grief, trauma, or whatever psychological baggage happens to be fashionable this week. Sometimes the metaphor can go fuck itself. Sometimes you just want an enormous spider terrorizing people who should have stayed home and watched television. Nelson delivers enough creepy-crawly entertainment to make the excursion worthwhile, even if the experience is more amusing than terrifying. The woods are lovely, dark, and deep, and something out there has eight legs and wants to eat your ass.
Don't Move arrives on Digital October 13 from Well Go USA Entertainment.
MPAA Rating: R.
Runtime: 94 mins
Director: Mclaine Nelson
Writer: James Murray; Mclaine Nelson
Cast: Lyndsy Fonseca; Hunter King; Tom Cavanagh
Genre: Horror | Monster Horror
Tagline: Whatever you do...
Memorable Movie Quote: "This time... God's on my side"
Distributor: Well Go USA Entertainment
Official Site: https://www.netflix.com/tudum/articles/carry-on-taron-egerton-movie-info
Release Date: October 13, 2026
DVD/Blu-ray Release Date:
Synopsis: Follows a prehistoric arachnid that terrifies a stranded group of campers who hike into the wrong woods. Based on the spine-tingling horror novel from the actor best known as "Murr" on TV's Impractical Jokers.
