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[tab title="Movie Review"]

Satanic Panic

Poor Samantha.  It’s tough being a pizza delivery girl.  With little funds and no tips, getting around on her motor scooter can be quite unbelievably tough . . . especially if you happen to be a positive soul who likes to see the good in people.  She can’t help but be a good force in the world and lend a helping hand to those poor pizza customers she delivers to.  Unfortunately, it will be her final stop that she remembers the most.  I mean, it’s not everyday that one of Satan’s richest worshipping crowd gets together for some pepperoni pizza and, well, helping them out means becoming a human sacrifice.  GULP.

"Taking aim at the 1%ers out there, Satanic Panic fires away at class differences"

Co-produced by RLJE Film and Fangoria, Satanic Panic is one wild, rollicking journey through the extravagancies of the wealthy AND the lower depths of Hell.  It is both frightening and funny and, thanks to some solid direction from Chelsea Stardust (All That We Destroy) and a dedicated revitalization of the look of 1970s cinematic Satanism, keeps a satirical tone that is never once surrendered by performances from Rebecca Romijn (who is the leader of the cult), Ruby Modine, Jerry O’Connell (in a hilarious scene), and Jordan Ladd.

Making it a night to remember, Satanic Panic bursts forth with a zippy pace and a “can do” attitude thanks to the casting of Hayley Griffith as our lead.  She’s a fresh face and has a nice energy that never dips regardless of the situations she stumbles into.  Hers is the rising star to catch here, Hollywood.  But this horror comedy wouldn’t work if its script, penned here by Grady Hendrix (author of the kickass My Best Friend’s Exorcism and Horrorstör), didn’t click into place.  Right away, though, Satanic Panic works, guiding us along Samantha’s pizza deliveries with charm and fun until, DUN DUN DUUUUN!!, we finally arrive at this film’s big payoff: a satanic pizza (and sex) party hosted by the ultra-rich. {googleads}

The problem for Samantha, who is about to run out of gas, is that the red-hooded bastards running circles for THE GREAT HORNED ONE don’t fucking tip her.  And she snaps.  Barging in on their ceremony, she demands that someone, after the super shitty day she’s had, give her a tip for some gas money.  A girls got to get home, right?!  It’s at that moment that she realizes, unfortunately, that she’s standing in the middle of a gathering of Satan worshippers.  They are rich.  Damn near untouchable, in fact. 

And they want a virgin for Satan to impregnate.  Thanks to Samantha’s limp-dicked boyfriend, she’s EXACTLY the type of female flesh that they AND SATAN are on the hunt for.  Shit. Satanic Panic

Taking aim at the 1%ers out there, Satanic Panic fires away at class differences and, while praising the “triple-headed fuck-monster of remorseless intent”, inserts a lot of practical effects as gore and babysitting jobs are mixed together to create something so sick and so twisted that only Fangoria could bring to screens.  Yes, I do mean THAT Fangoria.  I mean, the idea of Rebecca Romijn gobbling down one dude’s innards in a red robe (with matching lipstick) is pretty far out there and incredibly fantastic, right?

From unexpectedly moving a couch in a customer’s house to being asked to pee on a sexually aroused man to finding herself being sacrificed by this crazy cult, Samantha is having quite the day.  See how it frightfully ends in Satanic Panic!  The horror comedy is now available to watch in theaters, On Demand and VOD.   

To be honest, though, you had me at Fangoria Presents . . .

4/5 beers


[tab title="Blu-ray Review"]

Satanic Panic


Blu-ray Details:

Home Video Distributor: RLJ Entertainment
Available on Blu-ray
- October 22, 2019
Screen Formats: 1.85:1
: English SDH
English: DTS-HD MA 5.1
Discs: Blu-ray Disc; single disc; reversible slipcover
Region Encoding: Locked to Region A

RLJ Entertainment has issued a fine Blu-ray for their handling of Satanic PanicWal-Mart may have censored the title (so don’t get it there), but this is a cult classic and RLJ knows it.  There aren’t a lot of supplemental features, mind you, but the look at the making of the movie is pretty great. 


The 1080p transfer is near flawless.  The sparkling atmospheres of the classy house are full of shiny details and great looks at how the other half lives.  Contrast that with the dinginess of the pizza joint and you have a balanced-looking transfer.  Crisp and clean throughout, black levels hold their edges and shadows are layered.  And the color doesn’t disappoint either as there is plenty of blood to go around for everyone. There are virtually no spots of noise or digital crush.


With great eye-popping details and a strong DTS-HD MA 5.1 audio mix, the 1980s are strong with this beautiful release.  Purchase this puppy.



  • None

Special Features:

There are a few supplementals added to this release.  They don’t add much to the production, but they are still fun for fans of this flick to sink their teeth into.

  • The Making of “Satanic Panic”
  • Sam & Judi
  • Girl Power
  • Trailers

Blu-ray Rating:

  Movie 4/5 stars
  Video  4/5 stars
  Audio 4/5 stars
  Extras 3/5 stars

Overall Blu-ray Experience

4.5/5 stars



[tab title="Film Details"]

Satanic Panic

MPAA Rating: Not rated.
85 mins
: Chelsea Stardust
Grady Hendrix
Rebecca Romijn, Jerry O'Connell, Jordan Ladd
: Horror

Memorable Movie Quote: "Death to the weak. Wealth to the strong."
Theatrical Distributor:
RLJE Films
Official Site:
Release Date:
September 6, 2019
DVD/Blu-ray Release Date:
October 22, 2019
Synopsis: A pizza delivery girl at the end of her financial rope has to fight for her life - and her tips - when her last order of the night turns out to be high society Satanists in need of a virgin sacrifice.



[tab title="Art"]

Satanic Panic