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I hope I am around to see the day that filmmakers in Hollywood can actually produce a gripping, enticing, and all around satiating Greek mythological epic. However, in their latest endeavor, The Legend of Hercules, disappointment reigns supreme once more. Every aspect surrounding this film ie; budget, advertising, and sheer quality, reminds me of nothing more than an over-hyped, summer “blockbuster,” and if recent films are to detest: The Lone Ranger, Transformers: Dark of the Moon, and The Great Gatsby, Hercules may have very well lived up to its predecessor’s expectations.
Directed by Renny Harlin, this new-age adaptation of Greek mythology seems to blend into its environment and setting with relative ease, with agonizing dialogue, rather animated over-reliance of CGI technology, and extremely dry and lacking performances worthy of multiple Razzie nominations. Written by Sean Hood, the same “mastermind,” if you will, that has graced the silver screen with Conan the Barbarian (2011), Hercules only solidifies the facts that some reboots are better left to the imagination.
Ahh the infamous opening battle scene credits, this ought to be good. Beginning in 1200 B.C. Greece, King Amphitryon, (Scott Adkins), leads his men into a neighboring country, with a CGI infused, almost cartoon-like battle that ends in his conquering and humiliation of said country’s king. Outraged by her husband’s complete lack of humanity and tyrannical rule, Queen Alcmehe (Roxanne Mckee) calls upon the help of Zeus to provide her with a child, in hopes of overthrowing the tyrant, and restoring the status quo to her kingdom.
Enter Hercules, and all the clichés accompanied by him. Hercules, (Kellen Lutz) the younger sibling of heir-to-be Iphicles,(Liam Garrigan) and forbidden lover of the Princess of Crete, Hebe,(Gaia Weiss) is viewed in complete distaste by his stepfather, Amphitryon, and resented by Iphicles. Wow, three clichés in one sentence!
Being thrust into the front lines of battle as punishment for fleeing with the princess after her arranged marriage to Iphicles is announced, Hercules must, as have the many Hollywood warriors before him, survive the treacherous gladiator ring, striving to return to his kingdom, in hopes of coming to the aid of his damsel in distress, as the knight in shining armor… shocking.
Climaxing with a final battle of the alpha males, Amphitryon is slain by Hercules, in an over-exaggerated battle of testosterone. While holding Hebe captive, Iphicles is also, you guessed it, killed, as the dame pulls the old, I’ll sacrifice myself for my lover’s sake routine, as she pierces her chest with a dagger, instigating her captor’s death. However, low and behold, Hebe survives! I lost count of hero clichés.
With performances that are nothing short of laugh worthy, almost no embodiment of any palpable theme, and scenes creating no sense of development between characters, Hercules is rather un-marvelous in this box-office blunder. Perhaps another Twilight movie will be made so Kellen Lutz can continue to bask in the adoration of teenage girls everywhere.
[/tab][tab title="Film Details"]
MPAA Rating: PG-13 for sequences of intense combat action and violence, and for some sensuality.
Runtime: 99 mins
Director: Renny Harlin
Writer: Sean Hood, Daniel Giat
Cast: Kellan Lutz, Gaia Weiss, Scott Adkins
Genre: Adventure | Action
Tagline: The Legend of Hercules
Memorable Movie Quote: "I give you... Hercules."
Distributor: Summit Entertainment
Official Site: www.hercules3dmovie.com
Release Date: January 10, 2013
DVD/Blu-ray Release Date: No details available
Synopsis: Kellan Lutz stars as the mythical Greek hero -- the son of Zeus, a half-god, half-man blessed with extraordinary strength. Betrayed by his stepfather, the King, and exiled and sold into slavery because of a forbidden love, Hercules must use his formidable powers to fight his way back to his rightful kingdom. Through harrowing battles and gladiator-arena death matches, Hercules embarks on a legendary odyssey to overthrow the King and restore peace to the land.
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